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Online Rant.

Plain-spoken columns about everyday British bother.

Vol. IIest. 2026England & the rest of us

All columns

Grumpy, fair, family-safe. Newest first.

№ 08
Receipts28 October 20266 min read

Receipts the length of my arm

The receipt is an ecosystem. It has a title, a loyalty tier, an invitation to rate us, a QR code, and, somewhere near the end, what you bought.

№ 07
Customer service2 October 20267 min read

The honest case against chat with us

The widget says "Hi! I'm here to help." It is not here to help. It is here to delay you until you give up.

№ 06
High street9 September 20266 min read

Everyone owns a parking app now

A council car park used to want pound coins. Now it wants your mobile number, your postcode, and a small monthly surcharge.

№ 05
Rail19 August 20268 min read

When a single rail fare needs six taps

Buying a train ticket in Britain is a short exam, and the answer you give decides how much you pay for sitting on the same seat.

№ 04
Digital life4 August 20267 min read

The cookie banner tax

Consent was supposed to give the reader a choice. In practice it has given us a toll-booth on every page.

№ 03
Software21 July 20266 min read

The update that took the feature away

Every other month a familiar app arrives new, polished, and oddly smaller. The button has moved. The bit you relied on has gone away for your own good.